Wednesday, November 24, 2010

So not funny

As I make my transition from adult-teen to full time adult I’m beginning to learn the new social norms that I have to adhere to. I’m pretty upset about the level of professionalism that’s expected once you’ve graduated college. I thought of those four extra years as freedom not as a time to transition into dullness, so that “maturing period” was definitely lost on me. If anything I only became more witty and extreme with my immature jokes.

So as the days go on I’m making a list of things you shouldn’t talk/joke about in public or else you’ll get stared at and or sued.

  1. Harry Potter references…..
Honestly…I should have kicked those back in middle school, but I can’t help that I’m a sucker for that lightning bolt scar.

  1. Fart jokes….
These were still widely accepted in school, and in the privacy of my own home with family and friends they’re still a hit, which is why it’s so hard to give them up. But, it’s official…you can’t make farting noises when your co-workers bend down to pick things up…they just don’t appreciate it.  

  1. Referencing your Mexicaness as a joke.
This one is serious folks. When I was in school I’d poke fun at my Mexican-ness all the time…I mean… me and George Lopez could have been BFF. However, now that I’m with an older crowd they don’t seem to get the sarcasm I put behind my comments and the fact that I’m clearly joking so my first, and last, comment were met with blank and off-putting stares.  Also, it doesn’t help that I look more white than Mexican so people end up thinking I’m just one of those racist white people. (Talk about racist) What they don’t know is that the Mexican half of my family is practically the epitome of a stereotypical Mexican family, thus giving me the right to say things like…”Heck yes I’m good at soccer..I’m Mexican!” or “I’ve been drinking since middle school….I mean hello…I’m Mexican!” or “What do you mean I wasn’t invited to the party…I’m Mexican!” (No? ok…point taken)

  1. Talking about old people….
Everyone is old people so I can’t be honest and say that turning 25 and 30 kinda freaks me out. It’s not that turning 30 scares me (30 flirty and thriving right?)…but couldn’t we call it something else that doesn’t make it sound like we’re not 20 anymore?

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

So I'm not so gangster at this blog thing....

Hello all!

I'm trying to do my best designing this crazy thing but for some reason my computer has decided to be a big butt munch and won't cooperate, so for now...I hope it looks alright.

So this week I haven't got too many embarassing or annoying moments to share but here's what's happened so far....

Monday...as in just yesterday I completely forgot to put on a bra when I came to work. I had on a tight undershirt so it just totally slipped my mind. (And I was trying to rush out the door since I was almost late) Fortunately I'm young and the girls are still perky....UNFORTUNATELY someone decided they wanted to make it freezing inside (normally I'm sweating up a storm in here) and so I was...for lack of a better phrase...nippin'. I thought maybe if I just stayed at my desk all day I wouldn't have to worry about it, but since i've decided to start drinking a lot of water I had to make several hundred trips to the restroom which is on the other side of the office. AWESOME. (Must remember to keep a sweater with me)
                                                        
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Today I met a woman across the hall for the first time and it was a pleasant encounter until she walked away and I was inspired to write this little poem.

"Ode to a booty"

Oh dear lady with pants so tight
You should give a warning so I don't gasp awkwardly in fright.
Do you have a full length mirror?
If not, you should invest,
To make sure your booty doesn't send others into cardiac arrest

Anywho....that's about all i've got today, mostly because i'm afraid that someone will come around the corner and see that I'm not working like a should be.

Thanksgiving should be pretty awesome since my goal, unashamedly, is to eat an entire pie.

Until my next shocking and/or embarassing moment....