I've been keeping track of all the things that I've learned that I should and shouldn't do and of all the habits I should form, now that I work in a more professional environment. Today, I am happy...and then again not so happy, to have learned a few new things.
1. I cannot eat Chipotle for lunch unless I am planning on not returning to work afterward. The problem isn't actually Chipotle so much as the fact that I can't refuse their firey red hot sauce, which unfortunately gives me the tummy rumbles after an hour and then causes me to run with a clenched booty to the restroom every 30 minutes for another couple of hours.
2. I will stay away from the rude-face woman down the hall who I'm thinking might have a chemical imbalance. After she barked at me to put my purse up today, I became irrevocably convinced that she actually has an uncontrollable compulsion to steal things (which is why it was impertinent for me to put up my purse before her idol hand snatched it) and a severe case of turrets that causes her to make a crazy stink eye face and yell rudely. Either that or she just doesn't like me, and there's no way that's true because I'm just too awesome...right?
In other news...I have been having an issue with the clicker that I use to get into my extremely expensive gorgeously furnished mansion....aka my second floor apartment. It's the most frustrating thing in the world and often times embarrassing. Every day I come home and I sit outside my gate punching the button on that stupid clicker, while I slowly become more and more agitated until I look like a crazy. I click high, low, far to the left and far to the right and nothing. I hold the button down for 5 seconds in each direction again, and nothing. I roll down my window and try again...nothing! I've even gotten out of my car, kicked the gate and pointed the clicker right at the stupid sensor, and still, NOTHING. I would tell Colin about this issue I've been having, but he'd probably tell me something smart like, "Just take it to the office babe, they'll fix it or give you a new one." But, I'm lazy and I don't want to do that. What would really happen is he would end up doing it for me so I've been trying to stop myself from being selfish and allowing Colin to do all the things I hate to do.
THEN Miraculously this week, I thought I was going to be able to avoid telling him at all because the stupid thing started working! Sure it still takes a few minutes but it works! Or at least, I thought it did. See, the truth is, there is a guy that gets home a little before me every day, and pitying my pathetic attempts, he discretely pushes his clicker as he walks to his apartment. I saw him today, and with my wide eyes, open mouth and slow drive past him he realized that he'd been caught. He shrugged and gave a shy smile in a "Heh...yes I've actually been doing this for you all week," sort of way, to which I bowed my head graciously.
He's a real swell neighbor and all and I'm very grateful for his kindness, but I'm also a lot sad because I have to face the truth and set aside time to go down to the office and get a new clicker. I wonder if my neighbor wouldn't mind pretending like I didn't see him? Yeah, probably not.
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