First let me start by saying I’m sorry for being a major slacker and not posting. I promise to do better by you in the future….
Last week I finally tackled one of my many ridiculous fears, the lady doctor. Bum bum bum!
See, my first experience was everything I ever feared it would be: violating, too long, and painful…but mostly it was painful…well and too long, and really embarrassing. As if I didn’t already hate sitting in the lobby they bring me in and the first thing they do is weigh me. I mean seriously! (I had a friend tell me once that her lady doctor told her she needed to lose weight and I was DREADING the scales) I hadn’t even had a chance to make good with my new years resolution to lose weight before they depressed me with the truth of how massive of a mass I was. How rude. Then the nurse asked if I was sexually active to which I replied “NO!” about 5 times before she would actually believe me. Apparently I was the only 21 year old virgin on the face of the planet. (true love waits yo!) Then, my doctor talked to me in his office for about 15 minutes (more like forever) before the actual exam, which only made my suspense and fear grow until I had so much chest pressure that I was just waiting for an alien to pop out all Sigourney Weaver style. When the exam finally happened I couldn’t keep my legs from clamping together. The doctor would tell me to spread them and I would move my feet farther apart and draw my knees in closer. After about 30 minutes, 2 good cries, and some baby breathing exercises later I was finally able to wobble out of there with my head hung low.
For the record, I am completely aware of the fact that the reason my first appointment went so dismally was because I’d basically set out for it to be from the moment I stepped in the office. So, this time I was determined to at least breathe slowly on my own without having to be asked. I tried to make everything about the day go smoothly. I took precaution and scheduled the appointment early so that I could make sure to be as fresh as possible. (I have a completely unwarranted phobia of the doctor doing my exam and then telling me that I’m completely abnormal and I smell funny, so I HAVE to be sure.) And I prayed and gave myself pep-talks every 5 minutes without fail. (Basically, I was in a never ending cycle of prayer and pep)
Surprisingly as if it were some kind of miracle I ended up having the best appointment ever! I’m not going to say I enjoyed it, because that would just be weird, but I have to admit that I’m totally not going to sweat it next time. I’m sure Colin was thrilled as well, since he didn’t have to hear another hour long traumatic story about how my childhood had been ripped away from me in less than an hours time. (So I’m a little over dramatic…he needs to know the pains I will suffer when we have babies okay? Don’t hate.)
I have to say…I think my new year is off to a great start, my diet is in full effect (my wobbling over-exercised legs are proof) and I’m defeating my fears. Just call me Wonder Woman from now on.
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