Wal-mart lady knows I've done the deed....

Yesterday I went to Wal-mart on a mission. I needed to find a really good massage oil to use on Colin’s back because he hurt it at work so bad that even standing was a painful task. As it turns out the only heating massage oil available is made by KY and it doubles as a lubricant. I didn’t really think anything about the lube part, I was just happy that I found a massage oil that might actually help relax Colin’s back. I even did a little fist pump when I found it, with no sexual connotation behind it at all.  

Since I was already on my awesome wife kick I figured I’d be double awesome and get some stuff to make spaghetti for dinner. After everything was said and done I unloaded my basket at the register with my sexy spaghetti, bottle of wine, and lube (massage oil dang it!) and the cashier’s eyes lit up.

“Plan on making a nice dinner tonight?” she asks with raised brows.

“Uh…yup…” I say awkwardly wondering why this lady is looking at me with her brows raised like that.

“Well,” she says with too long of a pause. “I hope you have a great night!” (I swear if I had been standing right next to her she would have done that elbow shove thing that only friends should do)

Right then is when I realized she had seen the MASSAGE OIL (dang it!) and created an evening in her mind where I would be playing some Marvin Gay, clicking on my romantic scentsy burner, and having a GRAND time. So I said…

“Oh yeah!” enthusiastically with a wink wink and with two fingers crossed I finish sarcastically with, “Let’s hope for twins!”

Ok, so I didn’t say the twin thing, but it would have been pretty funny! I was actually just too stunned to really look at her so I said thanks with a “you know it” undertone. There was no point in breaking her lusty heart, it’s not like she would’ve believed the truth anyways.  

I wonder if she’d be disappointed to know that I spent the night massaging Colin’s back while forcing him to watch Cougar Town and one of my favorite romantic comedies until we were both so tired we just fell asleep.