What the hell is that smell!?

I was sitting on the couch a few weeks ago when I got a wiff of the worst smell EVER. I about died when I discovered it was my feet and truthfully...I don’t even think Dr. Scholl’s can help me now....

Having a real job has done irrevocable damage not only to my sleeping and exercising habits, but also to the softness and the smell of my feet. Up until a few months ago my feet had lived a very cushioned life. And I mean that literally. For the past 21 years my feet have only ever worn comfortable shoes ( aka tennies or some conversish like model) that allow the wearing of socks to absorb any hint of an odorous sweat, or flip flops which make for a nice and breezy non-stanky foot.

I was so proud of my soft and odor free feet that I would flaunt them in front of my mother while getting pedicures, because she, unfortunately, is more of the Flinstone persuasion. (Love you mom!) Callus removers were never needed on my baby feet! And I would show them proudly to strangers on the daily. I should’ve known it wouldn’t last.

Now that I’ve got a real job my feet are stuck in some sort of high-heeled torture chamber or fo-leather sweat box (or a combination) leaving my feet with crunchy calluses that are locking in this funky sweaty smell. I’m worse than a man who works outside all day in boots, and I know this because my feet trump my husband’s and he works outside all day in boots….sweating…and still, mine are worse.

I think I would be willing to accept my work’s shoe requirements if anyone other than the people on our floor ever even saw my feet. I work for a large corporation, but I see customers never times a week and I sit in a cubicle in the farthest darkest corner from the door on the 14^th floor. I would slip my shoes off under my desk and stick it to the man if they didn’t have a permanent funk to them that makes me want to barf.

One day the world will realize that one’s ability to do their job is in no way tied to what shoes are on their feet and I will be able to wear my comfy Asics to work and not have to clean my feet for 30 minutes every day as soon as I get home.

What’s more likely to happen though is that in a few years my feet will be so callused that they can’t even sweat to create a funky smell. (barf) I’ll have to boycott shoes all together because my foot will have such a large sole that they won’t fit in any shoe.